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Did You Know That Everyone Else Lives in an Alternate Reality Power and Purpose The purpose of this guide is to understand how our brains unconsciously change our perceptions or the world around us and change our reality so that you are aware that everyone has a different reality to yours The power of your payoff when you put this into action will be to better empathise with others by deliberately changing your reality to respect their map of the world Key questions to be considering as you read watch or listen to this AdvantEdge Coaching Guide What is the ONE thing you will stop doing start doing or change how you behave or act that will have the greatest impact on your leadership performance from your learning here What is the single tiniest step you can take immediately that will begin that improvement and by when

Did You Know That Everyone Else Lives in an Alternate Reality What is the Problem Who Does This Hurt Have you ever been in one of those heated arguments with someone you love and cherish when they remember a completely different reality to the one you remember Yeap we all do it We see the world a little or a lot differently every moment of every second This isn t some existential crisis but it is a problem and as you might suspect it s all to do with your brain You really do have a different map of the world to mine You ever heard someone tell you I I don t see what you mean They really do not see it And you get exasperated because it s soooooo obvious to you When I can t or won t see or understand the world from your point of view I m going to struggle to influence you effectively

Did You Know That Everyone Else Lives in an Alternate Reality What s Happening in Your Brain It all starts with an External Event Just the one for now and all the sensory data hits your five senses

What s Happening in Your Brain What if we saw all of reality Light sound smells and sensations hit your senses ALL the time There is no let up Imagine that you saw everything in your surroundings right now And by everything I mean absolutely every single thing Add every single smell in the air Every single sound Every single sensation of air as it moves the ground beneath your feet Now pay attention to all of it at once You can t Your brain simply won t let you because then you would have total sensory overload Most of it you would say is unimportant And you may be right about that Fortunately for you and I the brain creates a map that represents what your brain considers worth any attention right now

What s Happening in Your Brain First job reduce the volume of data You Delete what s not important You Distort incoming data to better fit your existing map You Generalise to make sense of the data You delete distort and generalised based on your life experiences beliefs knowledge Which are of course different to mine

What s Happening in Your Brain Next the brain filters the remaining data It filters according to your preferences in several areas You pay more attention to data that aligns with your preferences These five filters are the most dominantly used Is it more Towards or Away from achieving something Is it Specific or Global Detail or Big picture Is it a Necessity or a Possibility Is it more about Similarity or Difference Is it referenced Internally or Externally Introvert Extrovert You will generally prefer one side to the other of each of these and data that fits your preferred pattern is more likely to be kept and processed

What s Happening in Your Brain Internal Representation your map Once your brain has deleted distorted and generalised and then filtered the incoming data of the external event you have your Internal Representation of that external event Your map Your perceptions Your Reality

What s Happening in Your Brain Physiological Response This Internal Representation triggers your emotions and hence feelings and your physiology your body language response about this reality

What s Happening in Your Brain Behaviour Then you act You do something Most often you ll say something out loud or just to yourself or physically move

What s Happening in Your Brain In summary Is it any surprise that my view of the world is different to yours Your internal state feelings physiology unconscious body language and your manifest behaviour are determined by your internal representation your map of the external event It may be similar to mine It may be completely different And both of us are right As you can now understand there is a LOT going on in your brain every second of every day As we gain experience of our world we quite naturally create shortcuts known as heuristics or cognitive biases to save time and energy

Did You Know That Everyone Else Lives in an Alternate Reality How Much of a Problem is this really Herein lies the problem My reality is not the same as your reality Indeed you would be very hard pressed to find anyone on the entire planet who shared your point of view in exactly the same way Change one small element in life experience or beliefs and the exact same situation can be seen as opposites Watch a football match with someone who supports the opposing team One player commits a foul and prevents a score One of you screams foul the other protests that that it was fair and legitimate play The exact same information can have two or more completely opposite reactions Just take a look at any and every country at election time This world is more divided than ever How much of that division could be mended even a little by an appreciation an understanding of your point of view Or even just an attempt to understand how you see the world through your eyes

Did You Know That Everyone Else Lives in an Alternate Reality How Can I Be Better In This Area Before you respond STOP PAUSE BREATHE Recognise that everyone has their perception of reality and that for them that is reality Your internal reality is as flawed and accurate as everyone else s You do not need to defend your reality Accept that they see the world differently and ask non judgmental questions to better understand and accept how they see the world Act as if they see a better version of reality than you I said Act as if I did not say it is better For my Christian brothers and sisters 2 Cor 10 5

Did You Know That Everyone Else Lives in an Alternate Reality What do I do if I need help to do this The first step is to talk to someone you trust A medical doctor a pastor a true friend Maybe a coach or mentor Remember everyone has a greater or lesser issue with this because we all have a brain wired the same way and we all If you want to consider coaching you can learn more about AdvantEdge Coaching so that you can have Joy Work and Your Team to becomes United in Trust and Collaboration contact us here and arrange a complimentary confidential no obligation Discovery Session

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